Unlike my writings on politics and social matters, I am receiving considerable appreciation of my write ups on Saudi Arabia. Alhamdo Lillah ! This is perhaps because, I often have to hit hard at the false gods which people keep in their armpits, in politics and socials affairs. But the sweet memory of being with God is in the nature of man. So when someone talks about it, one feels that he is covering a familiar ground.
Saudi Arabia was essentially a divided society, or so one feels in the confines of offices. Where Americans were the owners, the best package of perks and salary was reserved for them. Then came the British, who got exactly half as much. Then came third country nationals like Pakistanis, Bangladeshis and Indians. Pakistanis were by far the best paid among them. An average Pakistani would receive atleast 100% more than his Indian counterpart. Therefore Saleh, a British national of Bangladeshi origin took over from the white finance manager. Having worked in a US multinational as Financial controller, he had better experience and higher communication skills. I did not come even close. Even though my heart was full of complaints , we came close and he offered me promotion to chief accountant in the eastern province or transfer in the same position to the Western province. He gave me one day to think, although no thinking was required. I went for transfer to western province from where I could perform Umrahs, Hajj and visit Madinah as much as I wanted.
Saleh too had only one kid, who was one day older than my son Ali. Later Saleh was also transferred to Jeddah and we lived in the same building provided by the company. It was a red Italian marble building and our flats were on first floor. Ali and Tahali became friends soon and Ali learned Bengali amazingly fast. Now they would speak in Bangla and we watched them helplessly, which made them laugh at us. Tahali and Ali would climb up the window. Then Ali will jump and Tahali would cry, “Ami Nami” and one of us would put her back on the ground. Often she would snatch a toy from Ali and ran away with it. Ali used to laugh wholeheartedly. Altough Saleh’s wife knew, but she would not speak Urdu and Rehana got an opportunity to polish her English. Saleh’s uncle was a minister in the last Pakistani provincial cabinet, in East Pakistan. But Saleh was in favor of AL and was sent to UK to keep him from joining student wing of AL which was even more dangerous. He studied and married there, got employed and then came to Saudi Arabia in search of a job. His minister uncle was staying in Makkah. He had a desire to die in Makkah and being buried there.
My wife was expecting a baby and Saleh’s family undertook providing food when she was admitted to hospital. There was a hospital in Jeddah which was staffed by Pakistani lady doctors and I got Rehana admitted there and came back with Ali to sleep at home. We got up a bit late and during my fajr prayer, I prayed for a son. I felt as Someone is saying smilingly ” If everyone is given a son, how the system will work ? “. I begged “Oh God only this time give me a son, then give me a daughter if You like .” But it appeared that I no more have the Audience and matter was closed. Saleh’s servant brought breakfast which we quickly finished and we ran to the hospital. As soon as the lady doctor saw me, she congratulated me on the birth of a girl. I had still not lost the hope, and asked was it really a girl and she said, you have a boy with you and now your family is complete.
Asmaa made her place in the home very quickly. She grew up fast, but would not talk. We were worried, but in the age of 2.5 years, she started talking full sentences. She was very close to her mother and would rarely speak to me. On her third birthday, I bought some toy utensils for her. Now she would sit parallel to kitchen and ask her mother, ” Mama I am making minced mutton, what are you making today ?”. Ali received her with open heart and would always take care of her. When she would cry for milk, he would shout ” Ammi, your daughter is crying, can’t you hear?”
But the Kind and Graceful Rab, did not forget my prayer. When we returned to Karachi, I was praying Isha, when I received an unworded and silent message in my mind. ” We have given you a son “. And lo and behold! Farooq came into being, a realy handsome and nice looking boy, after four months. And three years later we were blessed with our third son, Bilal. Asmaa looked at Farooq when he came home and asked her mother to take him in her lap. Rehana refused and she said : ” OK mama, you are not giving your son to me, so I will also not give my son to you”. But she soon lost all the attention she used to get and one day declared: “Mama this boy is very small and keeps crying. So better return him to the hospital from where you brought him. “
Whenever we went to holy Kaabah, we found a Graceful Lord to listen to our prayers and respond then and there. But whenever we went to Madinah Sharif and said salam, we would never receive a response. It worried me. I was in fact nothing. It was only Allah’s immense Mercy that He gave me a response in consolation, when He pleased.
When I was a boy, I noticed a piece of glass which was shining in the sunlight. I thought it was a diamond, took it in my hand ,examined it and threw it away. It was merely a piece of glass. While returning from school, sun has already set, because after the school closed, we kept playing till sun was set making it impossible for us to see the ball. I tried to locate that piece, but could not find it anywhere. I feel, in depth of my heart that I am that worthless piece of glass. When Allah SWT looks at me, my heart shines like a diamond, otherwise I return to my original nature. When I returned from Saudi Arabia and was working on Hajj day in a travel Agency, suddenly someone opened the radio and I heard Khutbah of Hajj. I felt as if I was in Masjid Nimrah and hearing Khutba there. I could feel the Divine Presence, sitting in Karachi. The next year, I took the Hajj day off, took a bath and fasted. But when I listened to Khutba, I felt nothing, So when I feel spiritually elevated, it is all from Almighty Allah and nothing of my earning. When my many visists to Madinah, failed to get a response, it dawned upon me that direct response is reserved for Allah SWT. Angels deliver the message to holy prophet and it is not necessary that everybody could hear his response.
While returning from Pakistan, I brought a special edition of “Nuqoosh magazine” which coverd the life of holy Prophet in four volumes. I read it thoroughly. We decided to go to Madinah. I had worked on a holiday, so Saleh said, I could take a day off. So all four of us went to Madinah in our Datsun 280C. The road to Madinah is full of foot prints of holy prophet. You see the road signs of Tabuk, Yanbu, Badar etc. Although the car was airconditioned and journey smooth, I felt tired of the long driving and went to bed immediately after Isha. We did not raise even for Tahujjud prayer. After fajr I went to say salam to Rasule Karim, SAW.
That was the moment of truth in my life. I felt that I have spent my whole life in selfish pursuits. If I did not commit a sin, it was because I could not get an opportunity for it. I lived a luxurious life compared to holy prophet. He went in hot weather, on horse or camel’s back, riding a mule or even on foot to far flung places only to spread Allah’s Deen. How powerful was his motivation and how supreme was his sacrifice! In the country of illiterates his only miracle was a book. It amounted to selling mirrors in the city of blinds. Compared to him my life is nothing and still I claim I am a Muslim and a lover of prophet. I broke down in tears, weeping relentlessly. People started gathering round me, They tried to console me. I had seen the moment of truth. My slef realized its insignificance. The camel had come under the mountain peak.
Muhammad Javed Iqbal
